just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
