I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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