All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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