I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
