I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Randomize
