god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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