Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
