We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
