Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
