i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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