Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
