those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
