there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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