I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize