I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize