that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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