wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize