I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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