I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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