big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
