'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
