Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
