I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
