Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
