It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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