Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
