If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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