my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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