i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
God I need to hump something, right now.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
