Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
