I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
3pm strippers are depressing
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
