apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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