What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
