Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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