Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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