Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
