the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
