Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
