i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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