it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
