i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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