Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
