so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
