she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
