like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
