My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
