White coat. Heels.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
