Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize