its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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