i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
