Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
