Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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