it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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