My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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