sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
