I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
