he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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